"A flower doesn't think of competing with the flower next to it.

It just blooms."

The other day, I met with some friends for bagels and coffee. Some were writers, one used to work with me in the police department, and two were people I'd never met before.

The two I'd never met were husband and wife. The husband's gregarious nature drew me in. I liked him instantly. He was the type who had nothing bad to say about anyone, and it was apparent he saw the world through rose-colored glasses.

The wife is a writer. She has published one book and is working on the second. As the saying goes, opposites attract, which was true for this couple. The woman didn't talk a lot, but what she did say was, for the most part, negative. The bagels were too hard, the coffee too strong, and the people sitting at the table by the wall shouldn't be eating bagels because they were too fat.

My friends and I started talking shop. We were interested in what types of books the wife wrote, what kinds of experiences she'd had as a writer, and what she'd learned along the way. Everyone shared new things we'd discovered in the past month, and if anyone was having a particular problem, we pooled our collective knowledge to help them out.

Everyone, that is, except the wife. Other than negativity, she brought nothing to the discussion. At one point, after one of my writer friends said she was having a problem with covers, she asked if any of us knew a cover artist. The husband loudly proclaimed that his wife had had that problem a few months ago and had found this wonderful, affordable—

Wife elbows him in the side to shut him up.

We continued our conversation, and another friend brought up a problem they were having, and the husband loudly proclaimed his wife had solved that one by—

Another elbow in the ribs.

Now, you might think she was a little too shy to speak up around other writers. I gave her the benefit of the doubt as well. Until she turned to her husband and hissed, "Joe, those are my contacts. Stop it!"

I don't know about you, but I have always tried to help other writers with whatever knowledge I've acquired throughout my writing journey. Same goes for my other friends sitting around the table. In fact, during the conversation, one of my friends had offered to give another one a contact for something. I can't remember right now what it was, but the wife had the gall to sidle up to this friend to get the proffered information. My first thought was my friend should tell the woman to get lost (that's a nice version of what actually came to mind).

My friend's first reaction was to smile and offer to email the information to the wife. When they'd left, I asked why she'd been so generous and what she said was so important I thought I'd share it with you.

She said, "A flower doesn't think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms."

That, my friends, is an excellent lesson in a writer's life. We aren't in competition with each other. We do what we can to help our fellow writers, and more importantly, as writers, we just bloom. No matter what others do or think of us or our writing, we just bloom.

Anyway, that was my little epiphany for the week. Hope it helps.

©Alison Naomi Holt 2025